I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This baby is an asshole
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
