I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
