my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
