Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
