3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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