hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
