I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
