I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
