Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think I am morally bankrupt
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
