Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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