I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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