Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize