the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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