Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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