You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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