I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
