I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
