She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
