i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
