the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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