Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
