Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
