we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
