It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
