xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize