I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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