Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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