they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
