He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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