I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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