No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
