Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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