East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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