6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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