god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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