Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize