Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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