Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
