So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
