just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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