I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
please come you make the beer taste better
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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