Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
