Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
