why didn't you poke me back
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i believe in u and ur pee
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
