Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
