my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
is it fun? or sober?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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