I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
