you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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