wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize