we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
PANTIES FOUND
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