i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
