i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
