im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
