haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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