but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
