Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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