I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
