Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
