like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
