My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
