If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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