You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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