I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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