Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
