she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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