Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
